Competitive Is Killing Me

Over the last few weeks I have been in a serious downward spiral in the world of online gaming. The games I use to love have been making me want to whip my controller across the room and it has been getting worse daily. Of course competition sometimes gets the best of us but usually I will go into a small slump and then pop back out for a period of time where I am on top of my game. However like I stated before that is not how the last few weeks have been. In every single competitive game I play, Rocket League, Overwatch and Heroes of the Storm, I can not for the life of me gain any ground. I feel like I have been forever hexed and a part of me wants to just say forget it and give up these types of games completely.

Take Rocket League for example, I run an eSports Organization for the game Rocket League and we just came off our biggest and best season yet. So many great players were apart of this past season and so many of them were far greater players than I. That being said I was able to almost reach “Shooting Star” in Competitive 2’s (my highest rank to date) and my team went on and won the MLD Championship. Since then I have been losing left and right, back to back and sometimes on a string of 5-6 losses in a row. I dropped to almost Challenger 3 and when I played on my PC to rank up there I landed in Challenger 2! How can I, someone who beat better players than myself in league play (All-Stars and above) then go on to lose against prospect elites?!

Lets move on to Overwatch now. When Season 3 first started I was on a damn roll. I ended Season 2 in high Platinum and in the first few months of Season 3 went higher in competitive than I ever had. I reached about 2567 (I forget the exact number but it is almost 2600) and I had high hopes of reaching Diamond for the first time. My main this season is Soldier: 76 and I am a Grand Master level in a few statistics, high platinum and diamond in others but my aim is Gold which has been holding me back, but none the less, all combined I am a high platinum Soldier. Then around the same time as my Rocket League woes started, I began plummeting and dropped all the way to Gold. I usually play between 4-8 games and I will be lucky if in a day I pick up one victory.

In  Heroes of the Storm I just cant seem to pick up a win either, I am not as dedicated to Heroes as much as RL or OW but I still would like to win, but just can’t seem to break the hex. Honestly I play Heroes more for FUN than anything but the weight of losing at every single game I am playing right now is draining me completely. ON TOP of the losing, I constantly have to deal with the toxic sons of bitches that plague online gaming. In OW they scream and complain because someone chose a hero they don’t want on their team, they sit in the corner and cry like babies and refuse to participate until that person changes and/or they end up quitting the game. Others will just not listen and work as a team, ruining 20-30 minutes of your life because your team is crap. In RL you got the people who have the least amount of points claiming their “tm8 sucks” and they go afk or join the other team in trying to score against you. You also have the players who are doing well and claim their “tm8 is trash” because they have 100 less points then them and that’s the reason they lost, “250?!”, “legend?”, “Okay”, “Wow”.

The whole experience of playing competitive is literally effecting my love for gaming. I LOVE Overwatch, Rocket  League and Heroes… but every time I end up playing, I play less and less and come away more angry than I did the day before. What’s the point? Why play if I know I am going to be completely pissed off in 30 minutes. It also effects the way I look at future games, like For Honor or Injustice 2. Two games I have been looking forward too, but these games are both competitive, do I even waste my money? Is it even worth it? Maybe I should stick to noncompetitive games like Diablo and Marvel Heroes, games I love that don’t stress me out… I would just hate to leave these competitive games behind.


2 thoughts on “Competitive Is Killing Me

  1. It’s tough to stay at a high level in online games. You may be improving, but so is everyone else. To make matters worse the weaker players tend to leave the game leaving just people of your skill level or higher.

    I play Overwatch on PS4, but am not very good. Stuck in silver rank playing Mercy. I don’t get too worked up though because every match gives XP for loot boxes and I accept the result of a game is a team thing not just my individual performance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well put. I try to have the mentality of “its just a game” because is it and “just have fun” because that is what games are meant to supply, but for whatever reason I just get myself worked up. I know in this article I called out toxic teammates but a big reason I lose my cool is because I tend to hold myself at a certain level and if I find myself making mistakes I know I shouldn’t be doing (like over reaching in OW or grouping up/chasing the ball in RL, things I am well aware of I shouldn’t be doing) I get angry at myself. I question myself like “why the hell are you doing that?” and I think I just go on Auto Pilot sometimes because I have been playing these games for so long, I just tend to do without thinking. I think it may come down to fine tuning my mentality when it comes down to games like this. Maybe a break is needed as well lol.

      Liked by 1 person

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